doc_holi | Musebox #1 [CLOSED]

Entry tags:

musebox

Musebox #1 [CLOSED]

Who: Holiday and Six
What: being awkward/horrible/flirty/omg
When: Right after "Six Minus Six"
Where: Providence HQ
Warnings: Spoilers for "Six Minus Six" and MAYBE "Lions And Lambs"

Holiday walked back into the tower after the LONGEST couple of days she ever had. Okay, not the longest, but it was far too close for comfort.

She set the chart she had carried in with her down on the desk, already turning her attention to the computer screen. So, Caesar's invention hadn't worked... twice. It was good that her sister was cured, because Six had just become her new project. She had to get the other Six back. This one was driving her nuts... even if he could be sweet... when he wanted to be.

She sighed, staring at the computer, but not sitting down. At least, he wasn't physically hurt... That was a good plus.

Didn't mean that she couldn't worry...

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Holiday looked away from the computer that she wasn't even really seeing, to look back at Six who had gone pretty quiet. He knew it as much as she did. The man she had just described wasn't him. Again, she felt awful for backing him up to be something that he wasn't. Yes, he wanted to be him, but he just... he wasn't. Not anymore.

She closed her eyes tight, facing the computer again. After a deep, quiet breath, she started working again in silence, face as neutral as she could keep it. A page from the other Six's book.

He felt cold and strangely alone despite the knowledge that there were currently a few hundred people on base with him. So this was what Alice had felt when she'd fallen down the rabbit hole: confused, lost, even--dare he think it?--scared. Even the people he knew were different as if someone had replaced them with imitators.

He glanced at his reflection in the window again. No, that wasn't right. He was the imitator. He was the actor who'd found himself stuck in the middle of a play after receiving the wrong script and had to be fed his lines, delivering a pitiful performance to the scorn of not just the audience but his fellow actors.

He started to shake, mind setting into a panic as he desperately tried to pull something from his memories. Something, anything from between six years ago and a few days ago. Every attempt brought nothing new.

And why couldn't he reach One? The man always knew what to do when things went catastrophically wrong. He needed his mentor's advice now more than ever, and he was only met with silence.

She glanced to him again. Even though she knew him very well, even a blind man could see the how uncomfortable and... scared he was.

After a second, she hazard to place a hand on his upper arm. She'll speak after she sees what his knee jerk reaction would be. She'll likely be pressed against the floor with a sword to her throat, but at least she knew the open risk.

Sadly, her prediction turned out to be awfully close to the truth.

He grabbed onto her wrist tightly and flung her against the window. Both blades were out, one at her throat and the other at her stomach, before he even realized what he was doing.

He stared at her, face intense and threatening before it melted into pure horror. His swords dropped to the ground as if they were on fire, and he backed away.

"I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it," he whispered, babbling.

Well, at least she wasn't surprised. She did make a grunt when she hit the glass, but she still remained calm... until he started freaking out.

His old self would've given her a crappy apology and just left, but this one was... close to freaking out. That, she hadn't expected.

"No," she said quickly, moving closer to him. Okay, yeah, the back of her head hurt a little, but she could take that. She couldn't take seeing him like this. "It's alright, Six. I figured you would react that way. It's okay. I did it on purpose."

That's right, Six. Her fault. Not yours.

His other self wouldn't have hurt her. He just knew it. After all, the man had done so much for her and Rex. Oh God, he'd choked the kid when he'd first come to. It hadn't registered until just that second.

He looked at his reflection again. Wrong, wrong, wrong. He was all wrong. The only thing right were the sunglasses and even they seemed off somehow.

Alright, let's try again. Holiday closed a lot of the distance between the two of them, reaching her hands for him a little bit instead of actually touching him this time.

She tried to talk with as much stern in her voice that she could muster right now. "Six. Look at me. Please. Look at me."

His heart pounded in his ears. They'd lost the better man and got such a shoddy replacement. He couldn't do this. He couldn't.

But he couldn't just quit. He had to try for their sakes. He owed them that much. A poor copy he might've been, but at least he could give them some illusion that they hadn't lost the other Six. At least until he shoved his foot in his mouth again.

"Maybe Salazar should try again," Six said, still focusing on his reflection.

"No, Six," and this time it was stern. "Look at me."

She needed to get this across to him. Six years was a long time for someone to just lose. She knew he couldn't do this and she wasn't going to make him.

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, forcing himself to be calm. His face closed off. Control...for the love of God, control...

"I'm sorry, Doctor. You were saying something?"

She breathed out, closing her eyes at his reply, then slowly opened them again, her look a good bit softer now.

"Six. I know you want to be him. I can see that much. But..." This was going to hurt her probably a lot more than it was going to hurt him. "You're just... not him. And whether you are or not, I still care for you and I don't want you to struggle trying to be someone that you aren't. So... It's alright. It's still your life and you shouldn't waste it trying to please people that you don't know."

Now, she desperately just wanted to leave... but she couldn't just leave him there... Not right now. At least, not yet. She had to reach him about this.

He tried to stay firm but only ended up slumping a bit.

"He sounds like he was something else. I want to give him back to you and Rex. I know you two were important to him. If I have to take over his life, I want to do it right."

"But you don't have to take over his life. Yes, I want him back and, yes, I want you to stick around, but I don't want you to do something like this for us. Not again."

She slumped a bit, too, trying to read if she was getting through at all to him.

"I don't want you to feel trapped like this. I know that... the Six I knew is still in there, but, for now, I'd rather you just be you... whoever that is. And I'm sorry for trying to tell you otherwise. It was wrong."

It didn't seem wrong at the time. It seemed like she was just trying to help him. But the more she watched him, the more he was struggling, the more he was fumbling. She'd rather him be a hound than be scared.

"If I be me, I'm not ever going to be him. You'll lose him for good," Six said with quiet certainty.

He closed his eyes. Would the other Six have been able to handle it? Then again, if the situation was reversed, the other Six would've been the better deal.

"You became him. Somehow. It's still not over."

Or, she's not giving up on it, at least. The Six she knew was still there and... strangely enough, it seemed like she was talking to him right now. That's what it felt like, anyway.

Yet, she knew she wasn't. And he knew it.

God, she wanted to go cry in an empty corridor somewhere.

That made Six mad.

"What if it is over? What if what sent him down that path can't be duplicated? If I be myself, you would never get him back. I'd probably at some point leave Providence to get back in the game because that's where I'm most comfortable."

The old routine of getting a job and heading out to perform it had been relieving, almost like a security blanket. The territory was nice and familiar. The contract didn't change and someone always wanted someone else dead.

And this made Holiday mad.

"It's not about us, anymore. I trust you to make the right choices by you. It's your life. Not ours. This is yours to make it whatever you want and whatever that is I will stand behind you on it. I know who you are and you aren't someone that needs to hurt yourself for other people more than you already have!"

Screaming, yelling, and being overall angry helps out a lot. Keeps her from crying for a little longer.

To be honest, the argument's helping him as well to a certain point. He had a lot of frustration to unload and training wasn't helping for once. He needed someone he trusted to talk to.

He didn't entirely trust Holiday since she'd assisted Salazar but he felt compelled to. His other self had had his reasons to trust her. Rex had trusted the other Six's judgment, so why couldn't he?

However..."That. Wasn't. Me. Only One would've received that level of sacrifice from me. Nobody else." His hands formed fists. "Yet he gave up everything he was to do what he could for you and for Rex. Maybe he even knew that there'd be consequences to whatever happened that caused him to revert to me but the alternative would've been worse and fallen on your heads instead. I'm not trying to be him for you or Rex or the rest of this insane future. I'm trying to give him what he wanted: Your safety and happiness."

Now, she was actually pretty pissed. All he wanted. Their safety. Their happiness.

She took a step closer, getting in his face about this. "How do you know what he wanted? You don't remember! I don't even know what he wanted! All you know is what you want! What do you want!?"

"I don't remember but I've seen the tapes and you've said it yourself. Or is there some other reason he would spend his off time here when there was plenty of other things to do?!

"As for what I want, I want to go home to a world that makes sense! But as I'm constantly reminded, that world disappeared six years ago! What I want is impossible!"

He stood there trembling with rage and anguish.

"And if I can't have what I want, I should at least try to do something right."

And another step closer, her voice low, dangerous, and probably about to kill him, while her eyes flashed with that deep saddness she has kept schooled for years.

"We all want that world back. Never think for a second that you're the only one. We make do with what's given to us and we take nothing, not a damn second, for granted.

"You have a new start. You have no attachements weighing you down. It's your life to do with whatever the hell you want to do! Not ours! Not his! Yours! Do you have any idea how many people would kill to have their memories taken?! If you want to do something right, then do something right by you for once! Don't live your life for us and don't live your life for him! It's yours!"

May have been mentioning herself in there a little bit, but it's not like anyone could blame her. He needed to learn from the mistakes that were already made and his other self was as close as he could be to that goal. Stay away from everyone and you won't get hurt. Especially, during these times.

"It's his life! Admit it! My existence at this current moment in time was at his expense! You know it, I know it, the whole goddamn organization knows it! Knight needs his second-in-command, Rex needs his father figure, you need whatever he was to you---friend, lover, whatever--and you all have to make do with sloppy seconds!

"Everybody's watching me, waiting for me to become him because it happened once before, right? Each time I vary from his pattern, it's like there's just this avalanche of disappointment. You tell me it's all right that I don't measure up, that it's okay to be mediocre, but it's not true!"

He didn't back down from her approach. He wondered if she'd try to slap him. If she did, he knew he couldn't guarantee her safety.

Oh, she wanted to slap him.

"This isn't about everyone else! It's not about me! It's not about Rex! It's not about White! Or Providence! Or the world! This is about you! This is your life! Not his! He's gone!"

As soon as she said it, she flinched back, the hurt showing clearly on her face. She quickly closed her eyes putting a hand to her face.

Six watched her as she covered her face, the anger draining out of him and leaving a hollowness inside.

"But you want him back. You want this to be real."

He motioned to his reflection. The glass provided a perfect illusion that Agent Six, not simply Six, was there with her.

"If you were me, what would you do?"

If she were him? If she had simply forgotten the past six years like they had never existed? Suddenly having the weight of the world on her shoulders. A man on a screen shouting orders. A kid looking completely helpless. Another man just... probably just walking away... she didn't know what he would've done.

She didn't know what she would've done. Everyone expecting that other person to come back and couldn't wait for you to go.

What would she do?

"I don't know." And she honestly didn't. Would she do like she just told him. Leave all of these attachments that she didn't even know of behind or stay with them and fought to bring back that person they wanted?

She still wanted to slap him, but at least she wasn't a breath away from it anymore.

Musebox #1 [CLOSED]

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